Before leaving for the trip, I got into a fight with sister and immediately felt guilt. It was hard to sleep and I knew I had to get up very early the next morning to head down and catch my ferry boat at 6am. The guilt plagued me. It was hard to sleep, I woke up in the middle of the night, I got up grumpy.
My mind tried to shake it, but the guilt stayed with my body and I all the way down the cape and all the way on the ferry over to Nantucket. I couldn't sleep it off, I couldn't think it out, it just stayed.
My body and I went for a run and I said to both of us: "this is it. sweat all the guilt out on this run. no more guilt once I shower this sweat off." It was empowering and it worked. It happens at Soul Cycle too, my instructor will say things like "if there's something you can't shake, put it on the wheel." Making a glimpse of an idea tangible helps get it out.
Other forms of guilt showed up this weekend. They were forms that were harder to shake. But at least there wasn't a massive pile on.
Breathe it out
Sweat it out
Dance it out
Scream it out
All of these activities help me move from my mind into my body. I am not someone who can "think" something out. Our bodies are incredible.
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